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A LetterIt's crazy how much a letter can change your life.
When I was really young it was a way to stay in contact with my best friend. We would write colorful letters to each other about our lives and reminders of our friendship and love.
I miss those letters.
When I was a teenager letters were a way for me to forget. To write angry letters that would never be sent to my mom about her drinking, her attitude, and her absence.
There was one letter that was written in the form of a story...one which my dad found...and outed me to my family.
Now, I'm a little bit older, a tad bit wiser, and the letters keep coming.
Not that I write, but one's that are written between two people I care about very much who are at war, my mom and dad.
Today I found out about a letter.
One that my dad sent to my mom.
It didn't talk of love, or anguish, but rather an informative yet hanus message about one of their post-divorce agreements.
The worst part of the letter, is that the words that were written were not his,
InsomniaIts slowly killing me.
Never thought I would be an insomniac.
Shut up, Shut up.
Fuck, I'm talking to myself again.
Why can't you just shut up and go to sleep?
Think about something.
Black dress, White dress, beautiful and an hour has passed by.
Why the hell haven't I fallen asleep?
Okay, think of white. Only white.
And, all thoughts are gone.
Fuck, I'm still talking to myself.
Shut up, Shut up!
When did I get here, to this terrible place.
I never thought I'd be an insomniac.
WordsMy speech is one of my greatest victories,
And one of my greatest faults.
In a moment the wrong words may escape,
Turning your life upside down.
Once it is whispered into the world,
It is forever held in the arms of others.
In their power, to do with what they may.
The most dangerous and vital tool in the world is speech.
How does one live without knowing its power, its importance.
Anguish, Beauty, Life, all in symbols, meanings,
My speech is one of my greatest victories,
And one of my greatest faults.
The Ordinary LesbianSix years ago I began looking for information regarding my sexuality. I found books about love, struggles, and fame (namely, Ellen DeGeneres), but I was never able to find a how-to lesbian book for Dummies. The question continued to enter my mind, "What makes a good lesbian?" Six years later, I found the answer. There are several different parts that make-up the perfect lesbian; fashion, relationships, PDA, and pride. According to dictionary.com a lesbian is defined as, "of, pertaining to, or characteristic of female homosexuality." Although this is true, it doesn't contain the important pieces of the puzzle, those that make up a good lesbian.
One of the most important parts of being a lesbian is making sure that one blends in with the crowd. It is easy to spot a good lesbian, say, in a gay bar, but it is more difficult to spot a good lesbian in everyday life. For example, if one is riding on a bus and playing the ever popular "spot the gays" game, a bad lesbian would be eas
Drowning, Without my UmbrellaI lose my mom.
And then my dad.
My family falls apart.
My best friend, my love, is gone.
I'm drowning in a sea of rain
Driven to dangerous measures
I'm drowning and I cannot see
The road containing leisure.
No one's here to wipe my tears
Hold my hand and say
Laura, everything's alright
It's going to be okay.
I miss the times when mom was here
To teach me how to stand
I miss the times when dad was there
To make me strong and wise
I miss the ways she talked to me
And how she made me feel
I miss myself
I miss my life
I miss who I used to be
Because that person now is gone
They turned around and fled.
I cannot see her coming back, at least for a long time.
She left long ago, without a soul
Even without a mind.
My Heart on My SleeveYour beauty and strength resonates
I wear my heart on my sleeve
You seem impenetrable, constant.
I talk too much.
You keep secrets, unable to open up to me
I tell you every minor detail, want to share my life with you
You try so hard, yet fall below
I try so hard and fall down low
When will you look me in the eye and tell me everything?
When will I stop pouring my heart out to you.
Impossible, I cannot. You are my everything.
The most beautiful, amazing, smart, endearing, lovely love, my baby.
I just simply wish that you could find the strength to share with me.
Every thought, every moment, your soul, for me to see.
HeavyThe weight on my chest makes it harder to breathe
I feel like I'm swimming in a drowning sea
Crying becomes a continuous habit
From inside, beneath, endless amounts of tragic.
When one part gets better, another gets worse
It's as if god wants my life to go in reverse
I'm slipping; I'm falling, with nothing around
I wish I had someone to take on a pound.
Pulsing through my veins
Running down my arm
Pressure in my hand, numbness.
Heart beating quickly
Twenty minutes later the ritual resumes
And only to find my hand becoming tenser, number, harder.
I look around with nothing to be found
I sit alone in fear
Do I hear footsteps or the pipes in the distance?
I know not what to be afraid of
But I cannot hide the fear.
In SanityI find myself in a world of white,
This place it feels so pure.
The Sun's rays are warm and bright
I've never felt so sure.
I explore the land and all its sights,
I enjoy the world's grand tour.
I wander around until the night
Shows what it has in store.
In the darkness, a speck of light
Reveals a hidden door.
I turn the handle and peer inside,
A sight I can't endure.
I turn to run, to escape my plight,
I dare not to explore.
But something inside catches my eye,
I can't resist the lure.
I awake to find myself tied tight,
A voice tries to assure,
"This one may finally fix you right,
Maybe this is the cure."
Beyond LoveYou say 'beautiful' like a mistake -
like it slipped out unwarranted
from those dark parts of your mind
that you don't want me to go to,
you say it like that.
You caress like it's worship -
like if you pressed too hard
or took too much, you'd pay the price
and I love those urgent times when
you're willing to pay it.
You teach me love like I'll die without it -
like if you don't defrost me
and my frozen image of myself,
then I might stop breathing
and extinguish beneath my own icy damnation.
You kiss me like you have to -
like we're sharing an oxygen tank
in a toxic, broken-down universe
and you are trying not to breathe
to save me.
You kiss me like that.
You love me, like that -
how am I supposed to resist
a man who loves me beyond his own sense
and senses - beyond love ?
kafka has been dead foreveri.
I am going to cut the veins out of my neck:
pull the stars from the legiments
drown the cities in bruises
I am going to burn in hell:
tear down the pyramids, the faces, the continents
the weight of the universe
(if I live to be 20
I will know the landscape of my mind
as well as the bottom of the ocean
& people I've never met)
CarcinogensMy hands smell
like antiseptic solution
and cancer, because
the peroxide won’t
cleanse your cigarette
ashes from my nails,
and the cremation
jar is still smoking.
Pop Rocksbeads of roman sweat and dust
lace the wind like meth into pop rocks—
feel the fizzlepop of history flamenco
across your justahuman tongue
and wonder why your professor never
lectured on the strawberry tang
of crusaders' sloshed blood.
sunset soon forgottenin a single moment all her greatness collapsed,
her soulfulness small and full of absence.
i am wild
with infinite shades of yes -
and a careless smile
so kiss me quick
under the sun
(just until the pain leaves)
DunesOut on the dunes, you could be walking on the moon
Maybe you are, maybe we are; see that planet in the sky?
How much more can be said about body heat, about
Sucking the marrow from bones in a vain attempt to quench?
Disheveled by dust-storms in an ocean of sand, we walk
Blank-window eyes searching for what, some sort of life?
Our feet are heavy, the ground wants to eat them; no moon, this
Now the sky is the color of sand, and there are no stars to wish on
Sweat and dead weight, we wait for the coolness of night
Fatigued, delusional, we see a rusty car approach; we get in
the secret is the almond
in your brain
you should listen when it screams
to run away
there is nothing
in your ribcage
one half of a clichè.
if I'm made
of bones and chemicals,
cold calculus, or
man of science
tell me why
think away the pain.
Do not be ridiculous,
love was just dark chocolate,
of rancid coffee.
The Isolation ChamberWithin the isolation chamber
Lonely is my fight
Dark and scared I sit beneath
The piercing, harsh bright light.
Without the truth I speak all lies
Within my truth I stay
Isolated, perpetrated, forced to obey.
Why not just take us all away
All the gays, all the strays
Everyone who lives their way.
Outside the isolation chamber
Sleeps the birds and bees
Willow trees and perfect tales
The normal, one's who please.
Anyone who can withstand
The straight and guided wind
Those who take the fears of life
And remove them from within.
Blue Eyes in FlamesWhen the prince sees the flower bloom from the palm of her hand, he orders her arrest.
She is only seven years old.
He takes the flower from her and keeps it, even though he knows he shouldn't. He puts it a vase, or, rather, his servant does that for him. The flower doesn't ever die, even years later.
It's dawn of a December morning, and he's cold. But still, he stands next to his father dutifully and looks at the little girl with blue eyes that are now black from seven nights sleeping on a cold, dungeon floor behind bars. They cut off her dark brown hair during that time. She's tied to the pyre, and there are seven guards around her, holding sharper swords than normal, not that she could get away. There's one man dressed in black holding an unlit torch, with a mask over his face to prevent his death. His father raises his arm, and the torch is lit.
She locks her gaze to his, and he blinks at her. It's like she expects him to prevent it. He couldn't, though, he can't. She scares him, w
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Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More